What the hell is it anyway? (in a real life as opposed to a cheesy Harlequin kind of way)
I have a friend who bemoans the lack of it in her life….
Millions of women bemoan the lack of it, otherwise how to you explain the current obsession with the “50 Shades” trilogy as well as the mania surrounding the Twilight saga?
We crave more romance.
Once in a while Hubs will write a little love note on the steamed bathroom mirror for me to find when I shower. That’s romantic, to me anyway. If he did it everyday I’m sure it would lose its romance and would become mundane….
We have a ginormous whirlpool tub in our master bathroom. When we bought the house I hung an honest to God chandelier (as in it held real candles) above the tub, I had visions of romantic candlelit bubble baths for 2….I think its happened twice in the nearly 6 years we’ve lived here. And a couple of years ago the damn chandelier fell crashing into the tub (empty thank God or I might have been skewered) leaving a nice round hole that has yet to be repaired in the ceiling, and the motor that runs the jets seems to be kaput so pretty sure that romantic dream has died…
Ya know what would be romantic for me? A foot rub….a spontaneously offered foot rub. The Real Life problem with that scenario is I’m pretty sure he’d finish and go “MY TURN” and I don’t want to return the favor. Nothing wrong with his feet, I just don’t wanna. My hands start to hurt…So how much do I want this romantic gesture? Not enough apparently….
Turns out I’m wrong as hell about what romance actually is anyway, according to Webster’s…
- love affair: a love affair, especially a brief and intense one
- physical love: sexual love, especially when the other person or the relationship is idealized or when it is exciting and intense
- spirit of adventure: a spirit or feeling of adventure, excitement, the potential for heroic achievement, and the exotic.
I always thought romance was doing sweet little things to make your beloved feel special….
Wikipedia has a definition closer to my own:
Romance is the expressive and pleasurable feeling from an emotional attraction towards another person associated with love.
In the context of romantic love relationships, romance usually implies an expression of one’s strong romantic love, or one’s deep and strong emotional desires to connect with another person intimately or romantically.
Historically, the term “romance” originates with the medieval ideal of chivalry as set out in its Romance literature.
So how do we get more of it? Beats the hell out of me, I think asking for it takes the romance out of romance….
I reckon we could all tie our Hubby/boyfriend (girlfriend?) to a chair and make them read the “50 Shades” books? My friend is convinced that a man’s brain would only process the kanoodling parts of the books and skip right over the romantic parts. Another friend suggests that “Every time someone read Fifty Shades of Gray a kitten dies” so there’s that. One person’s romance novel is another persons root canal sans Novocaine apparently…
It’s a dilemma…
We tried getting a couple’s massage once while on vacation….turns out it wasn’t romantic AT ALL. It was us laying nakey (draped with sheets of course) on separate tables while a couple of strangers rubbed oil all over us…The massage was nice but certainly not romantic….
I found THIS LIST OF 101 ROMANTIC GESTURES online. Some of the suggestions were:
- change the oil in her car (check. duhh….)
- hold her hand (check)
- write a message on the mirror (check. I’m starting to think Hubs read this list!)
- pick up a pie or cake for dessert (check, but with ice cream)
- thank her for a meal she cooked (CHECK. Every time )
And I only read up to #31….And I’m giving my Hubs an A! Could he do more? Yep, but so could I….ya know, little things like put on real clothes or brush my hair every day. I’m no picnic basket full of wine and cheese myself….
Maybe the problem is that people just don’t know what constitutes romance. So maybe the answer is to talk to your Honey, and let them know that you appreciate the things they do for you but you’d also enjoy this, this, or that because they just haven’t a clue what you need otherwise. Ditch the kids with G’ma and have a candle lit carpet picnic and then go kanoodle your brains out….learn Belly dancing and put on a show (and then go kanoodle!) Tell him to do a striptease for YOU (which will lead to….yup. Kanoodling!)
If nothing works after you’ve tried everything to inject a little romance into your life, then make his/her lunch leaving the plastic wrapper on the cheese you put in the sandwich, because clearly he’s (she’s) a clueless dumbass….