Do you recall all the posts I’ve written concerning a certain annoying co-worker?? Like this one, this one, this one, or maybe this one??
This is her, only she's in human form. I'd prefer the cat....
Well…..back in January I screwed up and turned a bag of M&M’s into a effin’ olive branch. I was really tired of dealing with the energy draining stress of despising this person, so I made a peace offering. My intention was to just ease tensions to a bit more tolerable level….
Worked. Effin’ worked too much….
Now she thinks I’m her new BFF…I don’t wanna be her BFF, her BF, or even just her F. I just want to be her polite and civil co-worker who exchanges the occasional pleasantry. Period.
But NOOOOOOoooooo…..She camps out by my cubicle regaling me with the antics of her children, her husband, her dog, her girl scout troop, her neighbors, her Mother, her other BFFs, and her Godforsaken in-laws. Not to mention her co-workers from her 2nd job and her mailman. Also, the color, consistency, frequency of her poop.
OY.
She hangs on my every word. She comments on every statement I make to others that has nothing to do with her whatsoever. She comments on my phone conversations, even the personal ones. (Note to self, have those on cell phone in the warehouse, out of earshot) She offers advice, wisdom, opinions on said conversations…..
See the scissors?? This is me on a hourly basis....
She thinks she’s being helpful. I really don’t think she realizes just how incredibly annoying her behavior is, she’s that clueless. So, am I just a big ol’ Jumbo Bitch for kinda wishing we were back to not speaking???
I am huh? You can say it….
Jeepers creepers, why can’t there be a happy medium?? Does anyone have any suggestions for encouraging her to respect some boundaries for crying out loud? Anyone?
If I actually had a full 8 hours worth of work to do on any given day, she would seriously be keeping me from getting it done, she spends that much time yakking at me incessantly. And she’s loud so there’s no way to play the “I’m pretending I didn’t hear you but really I’m ignoring you” card. My only escape is to put my earbuds in and crank up the ipod, which is bad because then I can’t always hear my phone ring…
Arrrrrrghhhhhhh!
I don’t need a TarBaby, a stuck to me like glue dang TarBaby….
Remember this guy??? Yeahhhhhhh, I'm gonna need him to come work with me. He's less annoying....
Any and all suggestions will be given serious consideration.
Seriously…
Even the stabbity psycho ones. Or the ones involving super glue followed by duct tape….
Also, whahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….
facebook 
twitter 
stumbleupon 
pinterest 
reddit 
Maybe while she’s talking, pick up your phone and pretend to text and say, ah-huh but don’t look at her. Do ANYTHING, pick your nose, but don’t look at her and only respond with, ah-huh.
If she doesn’t get the hint, start coughing ON her and tell her you are HIGHLY contagious. A rare disease which makes you not care about others and their problems, and oh, by the way, were you saying something?
Heehee! Ah-huh, ah-huh, ah-huh…gotcha!
It’s time to learn to fart on command. It’s a steep learning curve but well worth it in the end.
HA! In the end. I kill me, I really do.
BEST.SUGGESTION.YET….
I have a coworker who likes to talk all the time and if he gets me in a corner I act like my cell is ringing and say oh I need to take this and walk away. Or text someone and say help and have them call you.
ha! I’ve done the text thing! Also, I have to urgently pee whenever she starts talking! Or I fake a coughing attack and excuse myself…
You could suspend all of her pens, pencils, staplers, mouse, etc. in Jell-O…..worked for me once
Oooooohhhh I like where you’re going with this….
Wow, I’d hate that. It would seriously cut into my blogging time! Hmm, since she’s so into sharing maybe you could suggest she start her own blog. Don’t tell her YOU blog, just that a “friend” does and you thought she might like it since she loves sharing so much. Otherwise I got nuthin’ honey.
Oh wait, I know! Is there a co-worker you do like? Would they help a girl out? If they see her heading your way they can ring your extension and call you away! Repeat as needed. Good luck Lori!
See thats exactly it, she’s cutting into my blogging/yahoo.com time!
You can use deliberate body language that says “I’m busy” consistently to see if she picks up on it. Keeping your body at least half turned from her, casting your eyes towards your work area and keeping them there, if necessary, standing up and walking away works, too….
Or you can pelt her with something that isn’t as good as M&M’s….monkeys do it all the time and it works for them!
I have literally turned my back on her to face my computer and she’s still just a yakking behind me….I like the pelting idea. Can I use a slingshot??